It's Time

Decided I really should update you, blogger. My apologies for ignoring you. It's been an interesting couple of months.

It's been a long time coming, getting to where I am now. A lot has happened in the two months I've been gone. I'm a different person. I'm like play-doh. I'm constantly being molded into different shapes. Sometimes I get a little hard, and it takes a while to work me back out. But it feels good to be remolded.

Anyway, I'm technically working. I will write more later tonight, Blogger.

FUCK

Always gotta fuck things up, don't I?

I hate that you're completely okay with leaving me behind in time. Pre-determined endings hurt.

Well

Things change, people change, I've changed.

And obviously so have you.. in a few ways. It boggles my mind that after all this time you have decided to be close to me again.

And I don't get you. You're still heart broken over someone else, yet you find the time to say suggestive things to me, and still make me feel like shit on occasion. I loved you, for so long. But that's over. It's been over, for a long time. So please, don't try to bring up old feelings. They don't really exist anymore. You're just picking at old wounds.

I just wanted to get some of this out of my head. I want to smile. And i have been smiling lately. However too many of you have spent way too much time making me unhappy.

Doesn't everyone deserve to smile?

No, I didn't need to know you fucked her. I didn't need to know you almost got her pregnant 3 times this summer. I didn't need to know.

Maybe

Maybe we're supposed to save each other?

I've never smiled so genuinely in my life, never missed someone so much, never wanted to do so much just to make you laugh..

This is new to me. And this is me, hoping it's real.

Thank you for making me feel alive again.

Kansas

Kansas, I hate you. You're so fucking hot. I'm miserable.

But, on a brighter note. I had the lovliest weekend..

Fiction.

I was wrong. So wrong. Love is a fucking myth. Forget anything nice I ever said. It's all bullshit.